Swan Song
by Turin resurrected
Summary: With death comes rebirth, and even the most powerful magician must say goodbye. COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

**Characters are from Card Captor Sakura.**

**Swan Song**

**By Turin**

**_I. Angel's Dream_**

His first memory was the brightest light you could imagine. It was brighter than the sun, but strangely enough, it wasn't blinding… in fact, this light had an almost physical presence. It rocked him, and embraced him so blissfully…

Yes, he was content… floating in this marvelous world.

"Hello!" a voice called to him.

He turned around. He saw a person, with long ebony hair and the most pleasant expression in his face.

"Hello!" he answered back, very happy to have some company. He found himself mirroring the man's smile. His vision shrunk since his eyes had almost narrowed until they were almost closing. But he didn't mind. Not at all…

"Do you feel fine?" the man asked in that deep velvety voice. What kind of question was that?

"Hai. I feel fine," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Good!" the man walked slowly towards him, cupping his face gently. His hands were soft. He liked it so much that he inclined his head slightly to the side and closed his eyes, the better to feel those hands. The man laughed, and whispered, "I could almost hear you purring…"

An image of a gigantic lion(?) with wings – is there such a thing? came to his mind. A fantasy, and he giggled. He held the man's hand in his. The man let him.

In this timeless world, they could stay this way forever…

But the man soon gently took back his warm hands. He started. It was like taking a comfortable blanket just when one was about to sleep…

"I've got to go…," the man said, smiling sadly.

"Iie, don't go…," he pleaded.

"I will be back…"

"Don't go, onegai?"

But the man was already vanishing to that same majestic light. He tried to go after him, but, all senses, all will was suddenly devoid from him. He was again sleeping in that womb of light, imagining everything to be a dream…

_**II. Remembrance**_

Yue woke up. At first, he was disoriented, wondering where he was. Then it all dawned on him. He was in his Master's bedroom. That red silk curtain fluttering lightly in the breeze, he could only be in Clow's bedroom.

"You're awake Yue?"

"Clow?" he was about to spring towards his master, flying gracefully towards his arms as he always did, eager for his soothing touch, like a pet(?) his mind asked. Like that nosy Kerberos/cat? But he banished that heresy immediately. Like a pet, yes, he didn't care. He'd beg for Clow's love any day.

Clow was already walking to his side. Yue found himself embraced in strong yet gentle hands. His master's hands were playing absent-mindedly with his silver hair, and his soft breath warming the join of his neck and shoulders.

Bliss. He smiled and savored the moment.

Outside, the autumn leaves were piling on the lawn.

Long ago, Clow had told him that he would be going in the autumn. They couldn't believe it, the cards, he and Kerberos, they _wouldn't _believe it. Clow, the most powerful magician? Going? As in, letting go of life?

It doesn't happen… no, not to near Gods like Clow, his Master, his Love…

But he saw signs of Clow's weakening each day. It was slow at first. The cards making mistakes until finally, not being able to do magic anymore. Clow gathered them all up, like dear children.

_I love all of you… you are not just my creation, you are my life…_ he told them. And with a hug, and a kiss to all of them, he sent them to sleep in a book, giving them some magic, magic which he badly needed himself, and said goodbye.

Yue caught Clow when he fainted shortly after that. It would be something he would get used to in the coming months as Clow grew steadily weaker.

The perpetual spring spell was the next to go. That's why they are currently experiencing the autumn season now… Yue's first autumn. The trees shedding their leaves, going to sleep until the spring next year, when they will bloom a-new…

It would've been a beautiful sight…

I would go this autumn…

Kerberos soon followed. They found him asleep in the yard, his wings shedding feathers. They couldn't rouse him. There was too little sun to give him strength. And without Clow's magic to sustain him, he was vanishing.

So Clow put Kerberos in the book, too.

And he, Yue, was the last Creation with Clow…

I would go this autumn…

"Don't go, Clow, Onegai?" he whispered. And then he glimpsed the leaves again, gold and red and fiery orange, and he realized again that it's autumn, and the clock is ticking down on them…

"Take my life, Clow, please… I don't want to live without you…"

"I have already made provisions for you, Yue…" Clow smiled, weary lines marking his face. "I want you to live… that's my last request."

"No, Clow, no, I don't…" and then that nausea again, the pain the headache… it all assaulted him until he had no choice but clutch at Clow. Even though in pain himself, Clow lovingly held Yue until the spasms ended.

But when it ended, Yue knew that he was too weak to do anymore. Clow laid him back on the bed. Yue had no wings anymore. It had disappeared days ago…

Clow placed a tender kiss on his forehead, then, more gently, on his lips…

"You are my most precious and most beloved…"

"Clow…" Yue forced himself to grab a hold of Clow's sleeves. The magician smiled sadly and gently tried to loosen his grip. But he wouldn't let go. He felt, no, he knew, that if he'd let go, Clow would disappear. Yue's silver eyes filled with tears, and soon, they flowed uncontrollably down his cheeks.

The unknown was claiming him, he could feel that now. It slowly crept into his vision, but strangely enough, it wasn't darkness, or anything scary. In fact, it was the brightest light he had ever seen. It didn't make him afraid. It comforted him. Lulling him to let go, to rest, just for a while. He could almost put into words the light's promise: dear child, rest your weary head with me, and when you wake up, everything will be all right…

Yue's eyes closed. To rest, yes, he'd want that, but Clow, no, he couldn't leave him alone…

He tried opening his eyes. He succeeded, but barely. Through the fog of light he saw Clow for the last time. He was smiling, so gently, that gentle smile which he would remember forever. Then a thought dawned on him, he would also want Clow to remember him happy, not sad…

And so, through his tears, Yue tried to smile.

**_III. Angel's Awakening_ **

"Oh!" He awoke with a start.

The man was back again!

Then he remembered that he was trying to stop him from disappearing. Disappearing? Maybe he was just dreaming. The man was here, still lovingly caressing his cheeks.

"Do you know who you are?" the man asked.

"Me? I'm me!" he answered. The man laughed, so he laughed, too.

"Yes," the man whispered dreamily, "you would do fine…"

"Where would I do fine?"

In his mind, he saw an old fashioned Japanese house. Slowly, the view expanded, until he saw the entire neighborhood. It was a quaint suburb, lots of trees, and nice people…

People…

All of a sudden, he felt that he was missing something in this world… something so important, not even the light's lullaby could soothe…

"Would you like to live here?"

He opened his eyes, and he was in the house! And what's more, he had the softest woolen turtleneck and sweaters and mittens! His heart beating wildly in excitement, he opened the sliding door, eager to see what was outside.

Snow.

It was early morning and sunlight was making diamonds out of ordinary snow.

"Yuki!" he exclaimed in delight. He knew what this beautiful stuff was, even though he had never seen it before, nor could have known of its existence. But in his innocence, he never questioned why, only accepted this as reality, the way things are supposed to be…

He looked at the beautiful houses around him, _neighbors_, the word popped into his head. _Visit them, sometimes… get to know them…_

"Is it beautiful?" the man asked from behind him.

"Beautiful? It's wonderful…" he whirled around and gave the man a hug. "Arigato… arigato gozaimasu!"

"Well then, would you like to live here?"

He didn't even have to think about it. Wholeheartedly, he said yes…

The man led him back to the house. He would've wanted to stay outside, see everything, but he obeyed just the same. The man led him to a room where a futon was laid. Then the man touched his forehead and he fell asleep.

Later that day, he woke up and the man was gone.

There was a note beside him. In cursive and elegant kanji, he read:

_Dec. 25_

_My Dear,_

_I'm sorry I had to go so suddenly, without any goodbyes, but circumstances force me to do so. I would have loved to be with you more, make sure you are settled, still, I know you would be fine on your own._

_I have made provisions for you. You will not need to want for anything ever in your life. And oh yes, before I forget, I've stocked your kitchen with good eats. Should be enough for a week, ne?_

_Merry Christmas, dear Child._

And that was all. He felt a slight twinge of sadness. He didn't get to say goodbye.

_Again…_

Again? What's that supposed to mean? He looked outside. The snow was falling again, delicate and beautiful. He loved it. Yuki, it's called in Japanese. Yes, he liked the sound of that name. Maybe he'd keep it. After all, the man left without even giving him a name… Yuki…

No, that's not my name, it's not what he gave me…

But the man had forgotten to give him a name! He tried to tell that small insistent voice in his head. He tried to believe that himself, but a part of him continued to nag: _you had a name. You have a name. Remember! Remember!_

But he couldn't. There was nothingness before the Light…

He liked the dainty sound of "Yuki". How it managed to sound so happy, even at the first syllable of the word. Yes, he'd love that happy sounding name.

He wrote Yuki on the note, below the last paragraph. As an afterthought, he added _to_, or "and" to silence that voice in his head. Maybe he'd add a second name in the future. It might be rare for a Japanese to have second names, but it's not illegal. He'd love a second name, or a third, even!

Yuki..to… Yukito!

**To be continued**


	2. Chapter 2

**Swansong, Chapter 2: Christmas Gifts**

**_IV. Make Believe_**

"Merry Christmas!" Fujitaka happily exclaimed.

"Merry Christmas!" Sakura chimed, too.

"Merry Christmas…" Touya softly said, putting on a mask of indifference.

"I'm opening the presents! The pre—sents!" the little girl, Sakura, jumped from her chair, and bouncingly went to the Christmas tree. Her high-pitched hanyaan, and thankyou's filled the whole house.

"This' from Tomoyo, from Reika, from Koji, from Ayame…oh! From you, Ottosan! And… and…" she brushed aside the wrappers. Looking for something. But failing to find it, she turned around with a questioning look on her face, "What did you get me, oniisan?"

Touya's right eyebrow cocked in an impish way. "Why do you think you'd get any presents from me, kaijuu?"

"Oniisan!" her face looked like it was about to blow. She held her breath until her cheeks puffed up and reddened like tomatoes.

Fujitaka just laughed, taking in stride the siblings little quarrel. He knew how much Touya loved teasing their little princess, and who could blame him? Sakura was so cute.

"Oh, well…" Touya sighed and pulled out something from his pockets. "Here…"

Sakura distrustfully took the crumpled piece of paper. She read it and her face lit up.

"Oh, oniisan! Thank you! Thank you!" she hugged the tall boy hard. Blushing, Touya tried to pry himself off, but in hugs, Sakura was adamant. She gave Touya a big brother's share of hugs and kisses for a whole year.

Fujitaka laughed loudly. Touya moaned and looked at his Father. The teen-ager's eyes clearly said: _you'll get hanyaaned too!_

And true to his prediction, Fujitaka got hanyaaned. And on Monday, everybody who gave his sister a gift will be, too.

Fujitaka got a number of presents, most coming from the school's faculty, some from his students, but he was the most careful with his two children's presents: a knitted tie (a pink-green-red knitted tie) from Sakura, and a wallet from Touya. "Why, thank you, children!" he gave Sakura a tight hug and a promise that he'd wear it on the first day of school. To Touya, he planned to give a fatherly pat on the back since he thought that his oldest had outgrown hugs, but he was wrong. It was Touya who caught him in a tight hug.

Touya got two presents, a new shirt from Fujitaka, and a beautiful hand made Christmas card from Sakura. He smiled warmly at them both.

The grandfather clock chimed midnight's end just as they were finishing Touya's fudge cake.

"Oh, Christmas' passed!" Sakura sighed. "So fast!"

"There would be New Year in a few days," Fujitaka reminded his daughter. Sakura's spirits lifted.

"You're right, Ottosan! And there'll be firecrackers in the park!"

"Yes, and Touya will take you. Won't you, Touya?"

"For a dish washing, I would!" he looked at his sister evilly. Before Sakura could react, he was already going upstairs to his room. "Good night everybody, merry Christmas!"

He could feel Sakura rushing upstairs, too, after giving their Father a loving kiss.

As usual, Fujitaka lagged behind the living room. And even though Touya couldn't see it, he knew what Fujitaka was doing. Talking softly to her, updating her on the family, assuring her that everybody was fine and happy.

After all this time, he still loved her.

With a twinge of guilt, Touya wished that he could say the same for himself. Yes, he loved his Mother. Every son naturally would. But in truth, he barely remember her. He had mourned her loss, but somehow, in the process, he had forgotten who she was.

Touya closed his eyes, willing himself to remember, but in his dreams, all he saw was a shallow shell, a perpetually smiling Nadesico.

**_V. The Fairy Tale_**

He felt so alive. Everything is always different in this world. He spent all evening gazing at the stars from outside this beautiful house. Somehow, he knew what the constellations were… and the names of the most brilliant stars.

How nice it would be to fly, he mused. Stretching his wings he'd soar to the heavens, and maybe, just maybe, get a star, or two…

He looked at the houses across the street. They were lined with red, and blue, and yellow dancing lights. Kawaii… he wished that his house had those beautiful lights too. But he already looked everywhere in the house, and there were no such lights here.

He caught sight of a little girl and a sullen boy just beyond the corner. The boy was teasing the girl, holding a pretty gift just beyond her reach. It was amusing how the little girl jumped and strained and struggled with all her might to get her present back. It was at that moment that they turned the street. He would've wanted to know what happened…

Suddenly, he saw a warm fire place inside the house. It looked so real, the fire was crackling and sending golden light into the far corners of the house. But, when he blinked, the vision disappeared. The house was empty again.

Confused, he shook his head to clear it.

"I must be hungry!" he remembered the kitchen. The man said there's food there! So he got to his feet. Sure enough, the kitchen was brimming with food. And even his formidable appetite was soon appeased.

With a satisfied sigh, Yukito cleaned up after himself then went to sleep. He was cold, but he had a nice warm blanket to pull up to his shoulders. "Oyasumi!" he happily exclaimed. "Merry Christmas!"

VI. Melting Snow

"Are you happy, Yukito?"

Yukito opened his eyes, and in front of him was the mysterious man. His heart was filled with warmth as he rushed towards his outstretched arms.

"Yes, everything's so beautiful, thank you!"

He buried his face in the man's chest. There's something so comforting in the way his heart was beating, the way his hands were stroking his back.

As an after thought, he added, "Everything's magic…"

The man laughed. Twinkling bells. "So apt for you to say that."

"Are you going to go again?"

"Sadly, yes."

"But why?"

"Destiny. Fate."

Yukito sighed and embraced him harder. He didn't want him to go.

"Why did you call me out, and then leave me?" he asked like a lost child.

"I thought you liked it in the world I showed you?"

Yukito thought, his amber eyes looking distant. Yes, he loved the world, but something was lacking. This warmth…

"Please, don't go… please be with me? For a while?"

But the man made him let go, made him stand straight and looked at him squarely.

"Do you know what you are?"

"What I am?"

He wanted to say Yukito, but it was only a name. Was he like the brother and sister he saw on the street? But he knew he wasn't.

"I… I'm not human…"

The man nodded.

"Are you God?"

He shook his head.

"What am I?"

Instead of answering, the man showed him through a beautiful glade. The glade was filled with blooming flowers and singing birds. Yukito knew, without asking, that this was where the man lived.

Something obstructed the sun, a huge bird? But this wasn't a bird… it was an angel! And he was so beautiful! With silver hair and majestic wings!

He landed in front of Yukito, and from this close, he could see how beautiful the creature was. To say that he looked like a girl is demeaning. No girl could be as beautiful. He was… ethereal.

The angel looked so content as he brought some fruits to a sleeping man.

"Is that…?" Yukito looked at the long ebony tresses of the man. Yes, his companion nodded. He is me…

And then the scene changed. The season turned from spring to autumn. And the man was dying. The angel was in pain.

Yukito's heart ached for the angel. The angel didn't want to leave the man, but he had no choice. In the same light from where he was born, the beautiful angel disappeared.

The man, not as his companion now, but he in the vision, sank to his knees, coughing violently. Yukito rushed to help him but his companion stopped him, looking sadly.

No, I've got to help him! Comfort him! Onegai…

But the stranger was stronger than him and Yukito was forced to simply watch. His heart felt like it was breaking, and he felt as if it was his pain when the man coughed blood on the floor.

"I am sorry… so sorry…" the man whispered. He struggled to get up, even though his legs are shaky and his tunic was stained with blood. "please, understand…"

The man reached for a book, one inscribed with symbols Yukito couldn't read. But he recognized the sun's emblem, and the moon's…

"Take care of my children…"

And uncharacteristically, he threw the book in the air. Yukito followed the flight of the book, but it didn't fall back, nor was there any sound that it even hit anything. Just a faint whooshing sound and then, nothing. The cavernous room was devoid of any sound except the raspy breathing of the dying man.

The man sank to the bed where the angel lay just a moment ago. With his last strength he pulled up the blanket to his shoulders.

As if just to sleep…

"You see, you never did abandon me, my love…," the man said to no one in particular. And then he closed his eyes. And the vision dimmed.

Yukito woke with a start. He felt his cheeks. They were wet. He was crying… but, he was surprised to discover, he wasn't sad. What was the dream about? He had forgotten… something about not being human? But he knew about that already, and there's nothing wrong with not being human…

Yes, angels aren't human…

The dream told him something important, but stupidly, he had forgotten!

Something about…

The worst and best Christmas Present ever…

**END**

Author's Note: This was my first fanfiction here. Of course, it got erased with my previous account, but ah well… I still love it.


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